When someone is dealing with “low libido,” it can be easy to assume something must be physically or biologically wrong with them. Something must be off in their body or their brain that’s causing them to have less desire for sex.
But that’s not always the case. In fact, sometimes we incorrectly label all sorts of issues in our sex lives as “low libido” when the problem isn’t actually about not wanting sex. We think we don’t want sex, when in reality, we just don’t want sex the way we’re currently having it.
“In some of these cases where people are reporting this low desire and may be seeking help for it, we have a tendency to look at that as if that’s a medical issue and, you know, we need to treat this pharmacologically,” Lehmiller tells mbg in a recent interview. “But the real issue is that they’re just not really comfortable with themselves and with their desires, and they’re not communicating about them.”
What exactly does that mean?
Below are a few examples of the types of personal issues that can manifest as what appears to be “low libido.” In reality, it’s not an issue of having less desire for sex; it’s personal blocks or contexts that are interrupting your ability to access your desire. The good news? That means your desire is still in there somewhere and is just waiting for an outlet to be released.